Welcome To Take My Taxi

Sometimes

2011-09-05T23:29:00.002+08:00

You can think and think about something but there will be no answer. Then you can just follow your heart. My heart is telling me something very strong. My brain will have to figure out if she buys in to it.

I went to Taipei again this past week. I needed a breather from packing and paperwork in China. I needed a break from my relocation. There is just so many things to do, I can't even begin to list it. So many things to track, as well. It's really overwhelming to do it all yourself. My mom wanted to know if I needed her help. But since I'm so busy, I think I should do it myself since I won't be able to talk to her or see her much with all the running around that is required.

My new life is about to begin. It's terrifying, and it's exciting at the same time. I've been away for so long. I hope I can take all the changes.

Trust

2011-08-28T22:03:00.000+08:00

When you've lost something so important, how do you find it again? Trusting someone, whether it be your friends, your parents, your siblings, your loved ones... is a kind of love, a kind of vulnerability that you pass on to someone else. It's like putting your heart in their hands, because you trust them. There's different degrees of this, of course, but once you start trusting them a little, it's easier to give them more and more of your trust.

So when there is no trust left, how do you attempt to even start trusting that person again? When they've lied to your face time and time again? How do you know it's sincere, and not just words? And how do you know those actions aren't just actions out of guilt, but really out of regret, and is really an attempt to make things right?

How do you know that it's sincere? It makes me sick, to be honest.

Humans make me sick.

Packed up and ready to go?

2011-08-26T09:24:00.000+08:00

The movers came yesterday and helped me box everything up. Xiao Mei and I have been working on categorizing everything several days before so it'd be easier for the movers to pack. I've always known I keep a lot of sentimental crap and this time I really tried hard to throw things away but alas... it was easier to say, "Yeah, just ship that...."

Either way, I found a lot of old pictures, letters, XMAS cards, NY cards, and some gifts. Not sure what to do with those. Sometimes you find old things that used to be so so important to you -- and then one day you find them again and you think, "Ah, well. These have become bad memories." I'm not sure if I should keep the good or chuck it with the bad. It's hard to think that they are important still, especially when the person who gave it to you showed you they weren't important anymore. I guess with all material things it really is up to the person, isn't it. It was only important when it was important to both of you. I also found a bunch of XMAS cards from my cousins. They all sent me cards the first year I was living here, thinking I'd be back. After that, I moved around so much they stopped sending them because they couldn't keep track. haha. Well, that's about to change soon since I'm going home.

I can't even begin to imagine what life will be like after all of this. I don't even know where I'm going to sleep the first night since I have no bed. I guess I'm going to have to borrow a sleeping bag from someone ... also buy a bed ASAP and some pillows. Wow.

Thinking about this -- it's so crazy. I shipped all my boxes (15) and now my apartment is pretty much empty.
All I will have left when I land in the US is 2 suitcases and my laptop. I won't even have a chair in my new bedroom.

What you really only ever have is just yourself.

Life is so crazy.

Taking things for granted

2011-08-24T19:29:00.000+08:00

I've learned many hard lessons about taking things for granted so I don't plan to do that anymore, as much as I can help it. Some things, some people, are in your life for years and years, and you become used to them to assume that they'll be there all the time.

I don't even want to take my Ayi for granted.

Ayi: Are you really leaving?
Me: Yes... I'm sorry but this time it's for real.
Ayi: Ah....
Me: How old is your son now?
Ayi: 16.
Me: Wow... when I met you, he was what, 9?
Ayi: He was 6 or 7!
Me: ....! Really?
Ayi: Yes.... I've been with you for 10 years, Miss.

Oh, I'll miss her. I wonder things like -- how is her life going to be? Will she find a new family to work for that will treat her well? I've thought about hiring different Ayi's before, because sometimes my Ayi will get a little lazy. There was a period of time where she didn't come and didn't want to tell me, because she was afraid I'd be mad. And there was a few months where she was out of it and not doing her job very well.

But I've always given her chances. She's a good person. I know other Ayi's may clean better or be more detailed oriented, but she was always good to me. She really cared for me and looked after me. She was always helpful when I was sick. I'm glad I never doubted her and hired someone else. I'm going to miss her a lot. Mostly because we are friends.

A few weeks left

2011-08-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

Went to dinner with Rie tonight. I haven't seen her for a long time. She's such a nice person. I wish I spent more time with her -- but with her work schedule and my work location it was virtually impossible. She took a job that required her to travel to Suzhou at least 1x a week so she's always on a train when I'm free for dinner.

We talked for about four hours today, and finally caught up on everything. I don't know what it is, but when a person cries for you -- it's still kind of shocking. I saw her eyes redden and her tears well up and I thought, "Wow... we don't see each other much but she really cares for me." I have always had some super awesome Japanese friends. Even my Japanese friends in Tokyo -- I may not see them for 1-2 years but when I do, they always have these little goodie bags of things they know I like. Seiko always buys me chocolate or something green. Emi always gives me a postcard of some temple or some picture of something I like. Ide always makes time for me, no matter what. Jun and MoriMori always come see me and hang out no matter how busy they are. It's this Japanese loyalty and action of friendship that I've always treasured and kept so close to my heart. It makes me want to give the world to them. Because the world is too cold these days and it needs all the love it can get. When my friends show me love like that it makes me think the world is such a wonderful place, that people could be so selfless. It makes me always buy them little gifts that I know they love from Shanghai as well. It's not how big or expensive it is, it's the thought that counts. And it's what knowing what will please them, that counts.

Once Seiko got me a little Lilo and Stitch keychain. She told me that she always felt she was Lilo and that I was Stitch. She said I'm a crazy anime character but I always make her so happy.

Man, I miss my friends. I wish I could be around them all the time, everyday.
I think one of my greatest assets, or one of my luckiest things in life is that I really meet some super awesome people.

Beyonce is Amazing

2011-07-27T17:19:00.002+08:00

I never really understood what she meant by this song until recently.
And now I do. Too close to home, Beyonce.

If I Were A Boy lyrics

Songwriters: Carlson, Britney; Gad, Toby; Knowles, Beyonce;

If I were a boy even just for a day

I'd roll out of bed in the morning

And throw on what I wanted

And go drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls

I'd kick it with who I wanted

And I'd never get confronted for it

'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

'Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

'Cause he's taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy

I would turn off my phone

Tell everyone it's broken

So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first

And make the rules as I go

'Cause I know that she'd be faithful

Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

'Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

'Cause he's taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back

Say it's just a mistake

Think I'd forgive you like that

If you thought I would wait for you

You thought wrong

But you're just a boy

You don't understand

And you don't understand, oh

How it feels to love a girl

Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her

You don't care how it hurts

Until you lose the one you wanted

'Cause you're taking her for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy

你

2011-06-07T19:06:00.000+08:00

You just lost the best thing that ever happened to you.

分手快乐

2011-06-06T19:54:00.000+08:00

我什么都不能说，只能说你一点良心都没有。

不懂爱情的人，不应该去爱别人。你爱人的方式，真的太痛苦了。

I love you all!! You know who you are.

2011-06-03T23:58:00.002+08:00

Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Live life, because tomorrow's not guaranteed to anyone.

朋友是什么意识？

2011-06-03T23:55:00.001+08:00

谢谢大家的支持。连住在同一栋楼的朋友-两年没见了 --你们感觉到我需要你们，你们就来了。谢谢。我不会让你们失望的。

我的耐心是有限制的。

2011-06-02T21:42:00.000+08:00

I wish some of my friends can see the amazing beauty I see in them...and choose men that can see it too.

真的不懂

2011-06-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

我有时候真的不懂男人在想什么。我也真的不懂为什么他们重是喜欢去追。追追追让后追到了以后，你对他好了以后，他又变的冷漠莫的。女人的命真苦。我们永远是被追，让后把心给他了以后他又不要了。我们是做了什么东西去让我们的命这么痛苦啊？我搞不懂。

爱也好麻烦。如果我可以控制的话，我会选这一辈子一个人可以过得高高兴兴的，再也不要去爱，在也不要一下幸福，一下伤心。如果我可以的话，我希望我可以就爱我自己，要生孩子的话可以自己生，希望在我脑经里面可以完全把爱这个概念全部灭掉，不知道爱是什么，不需要爱去活得快乐。

我已经不知道我该这么办才好。我就只能慢慢想，慢慢一天一天的过。不管我多么的有耐心，不管我多么的有去爱一个人，我的耐心，我的爱，我能给的东西都有限制的。如果我的爱是被别人拿去玩的，不是珍惜的，我不会让我自己一直被这样的伤害。

这就是我今天的伤心。为什么我会让别人这样的对付我？

It's all in your head

2011-06-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

I am doing the work of about 5 people. Those 5 people don't need to do as much work because I do it all for them. I'm tired.

I was talking to a friend today, and he told me that when you miss work, somehow it will fix itself. But when you miss things with your family for work, you will never get that time back.

That is so true. And it scares me so much I'm speechless.

For all these years, I've been looking ahead to what I want to create, what I want to accomplish, what I want to stand for. But I've always forgotten to look back.

I can't wait to start my change. I just need a few more tiny things to come together and I'll finally have righted so many wrongs I've done.

Stomach Pains

2011-05-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

Aw man... I just got back from the US on a 13 hour plane ride.... well, 15 hours because we were delayed for an hour or more.... and my stomach felt so strange the entire time. I didn't eat a single thing on the plane. I didn't drink anything as well. I just sat there, deep in my thoughts, sad, happy, hopeful, depressed.... all these emotions at once.

I didn't want to leave but I had to come back and finish some things.

I have to be up super early for the doctor tomorrow, so I need to go to bed. But I felt like writing on blogger recently because I have so many thoughts and no where to put them, no one to talk to. It's easier to just write it down per my convenience. At least the seat next to me was empty, so I got to put my stuff there and stretch my arms and legs out just a little bit more than usual. But otherwise, it was a long, long flight with me staring at all the rows of lights on the ceiling and counting them....

My stomach would cramp up, I'd be miserable for 10-15 minutes, it would go away, I'd continue staring at the ceiling then it'd come back an hour later, I'd cramp up.... I guess it's no ones fault but mine since I'm taking so many different pills lately.

Ah well. Probably shouldn't have mixed an Ambian in there too with everything else.....

I hope when I move permanently back to the US and stick to only greens and healthy food, my stomach will calm down and won't get so nervous. This would help if I also had a lower stress job. I'm sure all of these factors affect my stomach pains... among all the pills I'm taking.

Love

2011-05-31T20:37:00.000+08:00

If there was one thing I wish there was a course on, it would be "Love." I've always wondered as a kid why so many people sing songs about it. My mom told me because it was such a mysterious force, and since no one could actually figure it out, they sang songs about it. And because people relate to all the various love songs, it's the most widely sung about topic.

Well, it's also such a painful topic. And a painful experience. Even when I was a kid I thought Love was so amazing, so romantic. I never knew about how hard it was loving someone, or learning how to love someone. I always thought things are supposed to naturally fall into place... like when Ariel the littler mermaid loved a human Prince she got human legs. Simple, right?

But still she had to compromise her entire life for a human. I never noticed that, I just felt, well, she loved him, he loved her, she became a human, they're together! Love is romantic!

Unfortunately, falling in love and being in love is so....so.... hard. It's harder than my job, and my job is already super hard..... It's because there isn't a right way to love anyone. There isn't a formula, and it varies for each relationship. And it's always a compromise between 2 people. Two different people born in different parts of the world and raised with different backgrounds meet one day and fall deeply in love. And that is romantic! Except it doesn't end there... two people learn that they don't like the same foods, they don't listen to the same music, don't have the same friends, but yet they love each other. Then it's learning to compromise and accept each other, and enjoy all their flaws and awesome qualities at the same time.

Another thing I never knew was that in order to love someone long term, that person also has to be your companion, your best friend. I saw something this weekend in a friend's photo album that said, "I didn't marry my lover, I married my best friend." If only I knew that as a kid I wouldn't have spent so many years trying to figure out what love was. I think understanding love as a pre-teen and as a teenager is so warped -- you watch the cartoons and movies and the princesses are always damsels in distress and get saved by knights in shining white armor. Then this day and age all the women save them selves and kick all the men in the balls... which is it?! And love in all those movies never showed how the couple accepted each others flaws... it just mostly focused on passion and infatuation. But that's just the beginning. For it to grow into a deeper love... they need to be able to talk to you about anything, listen to anything you have to say, understand why you say the things to you, start enjoying activities together, start becoming best friends, because how awesome would it be to have a lover who is also your best friend? That's so much fun...!

Well, for either extreme... what makes sense out of everything is that line.... "I didn't marry my lover, I married my best friend." Wish I knew that in high school -- Cinderella and her Prince just met each other once and fell in love... I bet she didn't know he picks his nose and leaves all the lights on, and doesn't like washing the dishes.....

Love is so painful and beautiful at the same time. I'm so sad yet hopeful. I just hope I can take it, and withstand all of this. My heart has got a ton of bandages and tape over it, it's more fragile and it bursts a bit easier than other ones....

Tai Chi is good for the soul

2011-05-14T20:47:00.002+08:00

I've been taking Tai Chi on and off for a few months, only because I feel like I need to calm down my Chi and get it to circulate better. Some people don't believe Chinese Wushu has anything to do with Chi, but I think it does. To get a better peace of mind, I decided to look into Tai Chi sword.

Usually I take Long Fist or Straight Sword during my classes, but I saw a Tai Chi sword class and it didn't look bad. And since I've taken Wushu for several years, I was looking at the Sifu and he definitely knows his stuff. So I ventured in there today and w00t! I really loved it! Not only that, but he was pretty happy to get a student who knows Wushu, so he sped up some of the forms and also taught me Tai Chi Fan. I love Tai Chi Fan. It's faster than Tai Chi Sword or Fist, and it has some of the powerful Wushu moves in there. Loves it. I'm hoping that taking these classes will help me in my main Wushu class. I've been working hard on getting back some more flexibility.

I think I'll be going back.

The funny thing is the Sifu said, "I could tell when you walked in that you have studied Wushu before. I can always tell who has been trained and who is completely new."

Yay!!!!! That motivates me to keep working harder on being healthy and focusing my energy and concentration. I have so much stress lately that I need to focus all of that energy somewhere, so that I can remove it from my daily life.... or at least let it out all at once. Stress is toxic, you know. There is one Chinese girl in there that's pretty good, but it's because she memorized the entire 40 moves. I'll memorize it over time and I'm hoping with my background I can get my techniques better because they look like they're going through movements. I want to look like I'm really doing Tai Chi Kung Fu, not just going through the poses. Otherwise, all my years of practicing would have gone to waste.

Leah Dizon - Result

2011-05-02T00:08:00.003+08:00

So I've always felt I'm pretty good at predicting trends in pop-culture and also the fate of artists. I don't know why, but for some reason I've always been good at seeing where the real talent lies. I am pretty good at reading people, or at least reading charisma, and when I watch someone in movies, on stage, live performances, or concerts, I have a pretty good idea how far they'll go. In my next life, I think I would make a really great casting director. I think that job would be the perfect job for me.

Anyway, so about Leah Dizon. Not sure if anyone actually knows who is she anymore, but shes a Chinese-Filipino + French (white) Mix. Born in Las Vegas, very American, and grew up modeling at car shows... wait, I mean, "modeling" at car shows. She hung out with mostly Asians/Filipinos, and this meant a lot of club promotions, Asian import car shows, a lot of photobook car modeling, which lead to some pretty revealing pictures on her website. Her claim to fame was the latter. Because she looked just like a doll, the Japanese Otaku men loved it. She had millions of downloads from Japan, and some of her fans told her to go to Tokyo and try to find a career. Which she did. Which made her even more famous.

Here's the thing. Japanese people LOVE doll-like women. In fact, the preference of this paternalistic society is submissive, quiet, doll-like obedient women. I'm not going to get into why this is, it would take too long of an explanation and I would just tell you to go read "Setting of the Sun" if you really want to know. But yes, Japanese men, and Japanese society overall, love, love, LOVE girls like look porcelain. And Leah Dizon is a perfect porcelain doll... just Asian enough to pass as a half-Japanese, with full lips.

Additionally, all the past super popular stars in Japan have similar features. Namie Amuro, Hamasaki Ayumi, the girls of MoMusu --- etc. Everyone looks like cute dolls.

I'm not going to say too much about her past or her personality because I don't know it, but these are the pictures that got her famous in the US and in Japan initially:

Anyway. There's way more revealing ones on the web, just google it. So needless to say, you could wonder a bit at her priorities in life.... But whatever the case, she came to Japan, made a few photobooks, sold millions of copies, and landed herself a singing contract. She came out with an album, the songs sucked except for 1 (imo) but her MV's were entertaining. She's not super crappy at dancing (considering she's American and has most definitely clubbed quite a bit) and shes got average charisma, and she was still young and attractive (21/22) so she had pretty much all that she could going for her. This was the only song I thought was decent:

And so.... she got so popular that she even performed on Kokahu (horrible singing, was off-tune). Moving on, she announced she got pregnant. And back then I am pretty sure I made a bet with a friend that she was going to end up marrying him, he was going to cheat and divorce her within a year, and she was going to be a big has-been nobody and forced to move back to the US. And... guess what happened:

From Wikipedia:
In a September 26, 2008 blog post on her official website, she announced that she was engaged to Bun (分^?),^[18]^[19] a Japanese stylist whom she had met while shooting "Love Paradox" seven months before. Additionally, she wrote that she was expecting her first child in late April of the following year on her official website.^[20] On October 10, 2008, while Dizon was three months pregnant, the couple married in a traditional Japanese ceremony.^[21]^[22] These initial stages were chronicled and announced during her Communication!!! Album Tourseveral days after the marriage. Dizon was quoted as saying, "I have important news to tell you. I have actually got married! I'm pregnant, too. My family and I are very happy. Now, I think they'll have a lot of difficulties and changes. Of course, it is a little scary. But also, I am interested and looking forward to beginning a new life."^[23] The couple's daughter, Mila (美蘭 Mira^?), was born on April 24, 2009.^[24]^[25] On February 14, 2010, Dizon appeared on live television and discussed making cookies for Bun. Subsequently, she confessed that their relationship had been aversive ever since the birth. That same month, she was featured in a spread for Glamourous Magazine, where she discussed motherhood and her hopes to return to the entertainment industry. It was her first magazine cover in nearly two years.^[26]^[27] On October 30, 2010, she confirmed news reports that she and Bun had separated and filed for divorce earlier that month, and she is currently seeking full custody of their daughter. According to Dizon, the split was due to "busy schedules and inability to meet regularly differing opinions toward raising children" alongside "irreconcilable differences".^[28]^[29] According to a statement released on February 22, 2011 by Dizon's agency, Dizon received full custody of their daughter Mila and details of their arrangement were private. The divorce was finalized in December 2010. Dizon currently resides in New York City with Mila, where she is taking acting classes. Dizon has stated that she would like to return to Japan for work in the future.^[30]^[31]^[32]

I wish I remember who I made that bet with and how much money I bet, because it was soooo obvious, like lightening hitting a huge tree, that her career was over. First of all, when media asks your finance whats the best part that he loves about you, and he says, "Your Ass," that's a big sign that he probably doesn't give a shit about you. And too bad it was bad management from whomever was managing her (I'm assuming her parents, because if you look at how they let her wildly do so many car shows and wear such revealing clothes at a young age) they probably didn't steer her in the right direction or give her a good teaching on values.

No matter what, anyone with half a brain could have seen that it was over. First off.... it's hard for talented Japanese people in Japan to even break through the industry. BoA is super talented and as a Korean, it's still hard for her to maintain her popularity. And she's a superb dancer, an above average singer, quite pretty, and very charismatic. And fluent in Japanese. So.... if it's hard for her... how hard is it going to be for a 22 year old, non-Japanese, intermediate Japanese speaker with hoey pictures to make it in Japan? Her popularity in Japan would have been at most 3-4 years before people got tired of her -- she just doesn't have much to offer besides her looks. And, she does not age well. Perhaps it's the white part of her, but in some pictures you can already see her aging at 22.

So I guess in the end, it doesn't matter what she could have done to save her career because it was basically just a good 15 minutes of fame. Had she aborted the child, she could have stayed in Japan awhile longer, got better at Japanese, and made another album. But then she would have still aged, her voice wouldn't have gotten that much better, and she wouldn't have enough of an understanding of Japan, Japanese people, Japanese culture, or have a good enough command of Japanese for her to even be a sub-host on a variety show. I guess it's a dead end, one just would have probably made her more money. The uphill battle in the end is way too steep for her since she's only mildly talented, with 75% of her luck being her appearance.

Well that's all I have to say about that. Mostly... I called it.

Leah Dizon Pregnant

Edit: Okay, I have to add a picture of her ex-husband. Not hot at all, right? (he's the guy on the right with the hat, supposedly he looks like "Johnny Depp."). He also used to work with BoA, and there were pictures taken of BoA "kissing" a long haired guy, supposedly one of her stylists, but nothing ever happened after that. I hope it wasn't him.

I have to admit that this dude has seriously got some good style. BoA's always showed up in awesome style everywhere she goes, and Leah's got some great outfits in her videos. This outfit has got to be hands down my favorite: Check it out at 1:25 into the video. Seriously one of my favorite outfits, EVER.

XI'AN

2011-04-05T18:20:00.001+08:00

I wrote a post about my recent trip to Xi'an and the window closed without me being able to finish posting.
So I'm not going to rewrite everything.

I will summarize everything I said with 1 video and a sentence.

WU ZE TIAN is AWESOME. This is a total FOB drama but I LOVED it as a child. Plus the song is awesome and I will sing it at Cashbox!! (with my parents because they watched this over and over when I was a kid). lol.

Okay, maybe a few more words.

I used to watch movies and documentaries about her all the time as a kid. I'm fascinated by her. She was the first woman to break the glass cieling for women and was the first feminist in China. She tried to empower women by giving them more credit for the things that they accomplished, and balanced the noble classes by forcing everyone to take an exam before being qualified to be placed in an official position -- which gave chances to the poor but intelligent and hard working. She was no more "evil" than any other male Emperor, but was ostracized in history only because she was a woman. There are hundreds of evil Emperors and Eunuchs that did much much more horrible things. Additionally, she killed no more innocent people than the Qin Shi Huang Di, the first Emperor of China.

Anyways, she's amazing. I wish I could get every piece of literature about her history and her life.

Two ships passing in the night

2011-03-30T23:26:00.002+08:00

Communication seriously takes so much effort! At home, at work,everything takes sooo much effort. When i get home lately, i just end up silent watching random videos on youtube. sigh.

The time to start is now
and i can show you how
come with me and ill let you see
a bigger the world than before

All the Small Things

2011-03-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

Cherish what you have.
Cherish your time with the ones you love.
Any moments, big or small, that you can share with them should be precious.

Do not overlook or forget the fact that you are already luckier than most of those in this world, who are starving, dying, or suffering.

We tend to forget how important all the small things are.

This WORKS!

2011-02-23T23:28:00.002+08:00

I have used this for 6 months. It works every time. And I must say, besides L'Occitane products, and some Origins products, I have never had a product work this quickly... I mean, instantly, after I washed it off.

Pretty amazing and totally worth the money.

Problem is, now that I've run out, I'm going to have to wait till I go back to the airport to buy some more. This stuff ain't cheap!

Calm Down!

2011-02-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

Finalllllllly. Wow what a roller coaster ride these last 3 months have been! My stress levels have really been put to the test. I realized that I spend a lot of time just observing during the day. Usually people get off work earlier in the US (since there are laws for OT), but here, we don't. So I spent a lot more time at work, and a lot more time being silent about work since not many people even know what kind of work I do, and explaining it makes me tired.

So there's a lot of stress that I keep inside. I've started running even though I hate running. I eat more fruits and vegetables. I go to bed earlier, I wake up earlier. I'm hoping this change in my life will keep me on some sort of healthier cycle so I can better cope with the everyday stress. So far, it seems okay.

Trips to Xian and the other places I mentioned haven't materialized yet. But I will make it happen soon.

I'm excited.

What do you want?

2011-01-23T21:56:00.000+08:00

I need to do some soul searching. I feel like in China, I have to do this every few years to make sure I'm going down the track that I want to go down. Why is everything so distracting, in China? I don't think it's really China. I think it's just Shanghai. There are beautiful places all over China where you can just sit down, enjoy the fresh air, and enjoy the beauty that nature offers you. But in Shanghai, you can't. So most people start looking for distractions to keep them from thinking about the inevitable. It's a way to escape. I think people do this in any highly populated city that has very little nature. New York, probably, as well. But Shanghai has very, very little nature. It might even be seen as oppressive.

So I think I need a refreshing look on my life, I think I need to head out somewhere and explore what I really want. I want to come back feeling like I still have a goal, like I've been reborn.

Yunnan, Shangrila, Chengdu, Xian, Terracotta Warriors, even the fake Shaolin Temple... I want to see everything. I want to finish what I initially came to China for, what I have been wanting to do and see since I was a kid. I want to see the greatness that I believe is China. I want to leave all the turmoil behind, I want to leave all the uncertainty at it's origin and be free from all its drama.

Cold and Patient

2011-01-17T12:41:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to be patient. I am by nature, very impatient and very eager to know the result of anything, and I like to get things done. That's why when things don't fall under my control, I get antsy, anxious, and nervous. I think it takes a toll on my health.

Note to self: Stop giving a shit.

I think that's a good mantra for me to have, and to practice. There are so many things to take care of everyday, you can only do so much... and when things aren't under your control .... maybe it's good to just stop caring. Find another way around it.

I like to plan everything. I need to try to accept that not everything can fall under my timelines. Unfortunately, this works best when other people have the same mentality. But most don't, which is why it's such a hard mantra to practice.

Patience, Acceptance, Go with the flow.

Oh Dilbert, you speak my mind

2010-12-22T17:16:00.002+08:00

Dilbert. He hears me.

Time for vacation

2010-12-22T17:13:00.000+08:00

Oh jeez. My mind... is sooooo filled to the brim..... with everyday crap.... that I'm so... so... so... exhausted. Sometimes I have no idea what my job is. I do so many random things. I feel like I do a bit of everything, but don't do anything. It's crazy.

I think because of the constant switching between tasks, my brain gets tired a lot. It's like..oh.. where are we with this? Where are we with that? What, there's a problem here? Why isn't it fixed? Because we're waiting for THAT? Why didn't anyone bring that up earlier?

Communication is soooooo shitty.

There's not enough people to do things.

I really can't wait for my vacation. I just need to take care of myself. Sleep in, do nothing, focus on getting some new clothes, maybe change my hair a bit, take care of my skin.... we're getting old. It's not going to stay this way forever!

Can't wait to turn on my OOO message in about 12 minutes. Time for me to go incognito.... muahahaha. I'm going to be traveling, so I'll get about 15-16 hours of peace. Thank you, Buddha！

Fake people and spoiled kids

2010-12-07T00:47:00.001+08:00

My masseuse told me today about her spoiled son. She works hard everyday and is exhausted each night and even though she lives alone in Shanghai she prefers the solace versus her family life back in Chengdu.

Good masseuse only make about 3000rmb a month. They get a % off the fee a customer pays when that customer specifically asks for them. So she would get roughly 10rmb for every 100rmb her customer spent. This is why they try to sell you 1.5 hour to 2 hour packages, etc, because they get a larger % of what you spend.

Anyway, so she's alone in Shanghai and her husband, their son, and her parents are all living in an apartment in Sichuan. Her husband doesn't work. Occasionally he'll drive around as a taxi. Her son is 16 and wants her to buy him name brands. When she went back 2 weeks ago, she brought him a jacket and shoes that she bought for him. But he said they weren't good enough because the brand wasn't high class. So he asked her where she bought it, and she named a street off Shanghai. And he asked her how much was it, and she said 200rmb. Then he asked her for the receipt because he wanted proof she went there and bought it.

What a little spoiled brat. I would have slapped that little fugger straight across the face. With my broom. I don't like kids very much. Correction: I don't like undisciplined kids.

But how is she supposed to discipline him anyways? She lives in Shanghai. Her husband is a slacker. Her father is old and sick. The little money she makes she spends on them, and her father's hospital bills are costly. She went back for 2 weeks and spent over 10,000rmb. That's about 6 months worth of savings. This is why she prefers to stay in Shanghai and hates going back to Sichuan.

Her bike broke a few months ago so I gave her mine for free. I'm glad I helped her out. Maybe that's why shes such a good masseuse to me. :)

My next thought today focuses on fake people. I'm not too good at being fake. Maybe that's why I offend people. But I don't care. I'm not going to tell you your kids are good looking when they're not. I won't tell your kids they're ugly to their faces because I don't want to be the catalyst for their future coloumbine endeavors. So I would rather just not say anything if you showed me a picture of your kids asking if they're cute. Apparently to most parents, it means you think they're ugly. Which I do. But I didn't say anything.

Anyway what am I talking about.

So yeah, I know a lot of people who don't really care about you but they act like you're the most important thing in the world. Do people not see through that? I met some girl before and talked to her for about 5 seconds. A few weeks later I saw her again and she acted like she missed me soooooo much. No she didn't. She doesn't even know what I do for a living or what my last name is. I can't stand that.

I can't tell you anything that I don't believe in. So if your hair is ugly I'm not going to say it looks good. If I like you and I know you well I might not be so blunt about it. Instead of, "Yeah.. its pretty ugly," I might say, "Well, I've seen you look a lot better." Not much difference but at least one has less of an edge.

So when I see people that are too eager to see other people I start wondering if its for real or not. And when the other person really likes it I wonder why they can't see through the fakeness. Really fake people make me uncomfortable, especially because I don't really talk to people unless I feel we have something in common. I'm not one to make small talk so I don't get it. Usually geeks are easy to talk to because I know we have some sort of video game we like. Or some kind of geek movie. But with non-geeks.... I dunno. Maybe I'm just an antisocial dork.

Meh.

2NE1's fashion makes me faint

2010-11-23T00:25:00.002+08:00

I love a particular style of fashion, and 2NE1 is exactly the style that I love. I LOVE IT. Sometimes I feel like fainting when I see their style. omg. I'm in love.

CL's fashion in this performance is SO CRAZY. I LOVE IT!!! /SCREAM

Here's the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyg1Mv0eZ_c

CL -- you're so fierce. I love you.

Big Bang is hugely popular in Japan starting last year. Like, insanely popular. I am almost 100% sure that its because Japanese women are preferring more manly men. Arashi? Kat-tun? News? Way too girly. Especially since birth rate is dropping in Japan and many women are staying single longer since they have more education and make more money, leaving their socially awkward men left to marry their NDS's. Stronger men is what they're looking for.

It's interesting how they're so huge in Japan, and one of the main things they have is charisma and individual personalities. I was reading the Japanese comments on youtube for their live performances in Japan, they all say the same thing: "Japan's Idols lose to Big Bang, we don't need them around anymore."

Reasons why?
1) Big Bang is fun, whereas most Japanese idols are more reserved, afraid to show their true personalities
2) Big Bang can dance, having been trained professionally for years
3) Most boy bands in Japan are born from Johnny's Entertainment, and it's widely known that "Johnny" himself is super duper gay. Therefore all the boybands look effeminate, with girly dance moves, hair, and clothes
4) All the "manly" boy bands copy African American hip hop, most just dress like that and have no charisma.

It's been like this for years, no wonder Big Bang can just debut over there and take over the market by storm. This also rings true for the girl bands. Besides the fact that AKB48 is hugely popular (thanks pedo salarymen), 2NE1 is about to debut and probably win over a huge share. I wouldn't be surprised if they get a ton of female fans from Japan, especially since they sing about being stronger women. They're one of the most popular and charismatic girl groups in Korea right now, if not #1.

This big export of KPOP to Japan is so popular and successful that its crazy. Almost more than half of the top acts right now are from Korea. What are you going to do with your talent, Japan? If they were smart, they'd start getting some more realistic artists, instead of the ones that just dress cute, african american, or "rock." The style of their artists are so old and 3 years ago. Which is probably why KPOP basically took over.
hiroak86
5 months ago 32
日本のアイドルはもういらない。ダンスヴォーカルはK-POPには敵わない。

ryo600
6 months ago 11
おーい、日本負けてるぞー
やっぱあれだけやられたら
日本のアイドル達は悔しいでしょうね。
ビッベンはアイドルというくくりではないけれどもさ

Piles and Piles of....

2010-11-18T20:35:00.003+08:00

excel sheets! I guess since they're digital you can't really get stuck underneath them but I sure as hell feel like I am. Sometimes I find myself updating the same status over and over to the same group of people in different emails. Why not just read the other one? Or... why do you need an update...EVERYDAY? I think every 2-3 days is good enough, maybe 2x a week.... why? why? why?

There are too many meetings. Meetings that I sit there and start looking at my nails, wondering if I should wake up early for the rest of the week and go to the gym, or wondering if I should go get a massage after work. When the meetings make your mind wander --- its an inefficient meeting.

People in Asia just looooooove to discuss. Discuss discuss discuss. DURING meetings. Look. The meeting is for a decision to be made. Not a discussion about the decision that hasn't been made. The discussion part happens BEFORE the decision part, so that a decision CAN be pulled out of that mass of random digression.

So. I know Americans in Asian meetings go crazy because nothing is ever done. All the discussion happens, people are afraid to make a decision, and the decision is made somewhere later in a smaller meeting or on a smaller email chain with actual power to make a decision. So why even bother to have a meeting for 2 hours (supposed to be 1 hour) discussing stuff you probably will not make a decision on....?

This happens in Asia, all the time. Asians just loooove to not take responsibility for any action, or not step on anyones toes if they make a decision (Japan). Man. Meetings in Asia suck.

I miss meetings in the US. Short, sweet, to the point, and done when the 30 minutes are up.

ugh.

Today all my coworker and I did was chat on MSN during the meeting. We had no idea what it was about after they stopped speaking in English. I could understand all of it but I'm not going to listen since its a bunch of digressions and philosophy. Also, most of the important decisions are made in English. So. If its being discussed not in English, chances are there is no one important enough there to make a decision. :P

It's only Monday....

2010-11-15T19:31:00.000+08:00

Usually Mondays are like a free holiday for me. Well, not all the time. But usually I do schedule my doctors appointments or annoying errands on Monday, knowing that I would have more time to handle them. Well those precious days are over! Mondays are now as stressful as my every other stressful day!!

I don't think I would mind stressful days so much if I didn't feel like I was always ninja'ed that I have to handle a new project... or, if I could just get some definite answers in the beginning of the project, or maybe some pointers at the best way to handle it -- I don't think I would be so stressed out. I really hate doing anything wrong. I hate it. I always have to be right, I always have to do everything to the best of my ability -- so when I don't have enough information to do that I feel stressed out.

Unlike the events I plan myself where I can go and demand answers from everyone and anyone I feel like, I unfortunately can't do that in certain situations so I don't know what to do. And I HATE not having the answers.

Ah well...

Bohemia

2010-11-13T20:59:00.000+08:00

That's basically where I am. And I like the music here. I think I'll come back and visit.

There's a coffee shop here with GREAT coffee that I used to frequent a lot. It's called DANs.
However, as business picked up, so dropped its quality. The coffee is still great, but the service isn't as quick as it used to be, and the servers attitude has become defiant, probably because they no longer need to beg for business since they're always full.

If I ever open my own business, I will never be a bitch to my customers. Only the ones that deserve it. :P
Don't worry, I'm not an entrepreneur, I hate customers and they're always wrong because I'm always right. If I want to serve you slop you eat it, bitch. I'm the boss of you.

Anyhoo.

I came here to do some work but of course ended up procrastinating. At least we switched to a less busy cafe. D came and ate dinner with me, then left for a client dinner so now I'm all by myself, watching people walk by. I really like this place -- minus the 5 billion tourists. I know it's not their fault that they're so fucking n00by but fuck stop being such a fucking n00b!! I say in my head.

It's funny that the waitresses in front of me are talking about ChinaJoy. That was months ago.

I love people watching. Japanese people to my right, talking about whether or not they like their lives in Shanghai. Some dude across from me reading a book -- careful dude, the lighting is so dim you're going to go blind. Some customer annoyed the place only takes cash -- "Where's the ATM??!"

I saw a friend today. He was with a girl, and just passed by and we said hi. He said, "I haven't been around, been traveling and getting the hell out of here." "Oh? What's the matter?" we said.

"This place sucks. I'm going to move. It's the same group of guys. Getting into fights with also the same groups of guys. Sometimes new guys come, and they get into fights with them too. So fucking stupid. I'm tired of this small ass group, these people."

"How long have you been in living here now?"
"Almost 2 years."

Ahh.... that explains everything. The 2 year crisis, where you realize that living here sucks when you can't find a group of close friends. Close friends are hard to find here. People are fake and stupid, stuck in their own little bubbles, insignificant lives.... when you're tired of clubbing, partying, hoes, sluts, drinking.... and you look for deeper meaning and fulfillment.... its hard to find here. People are shallow. It's Vegas with even less rules. Money goes a lot farther here. You can imagine what life is like, how much debauchery there is, Welcome to Never Never Land....

But congrats to him though. He recognizes what it is... people tend to grow cynical when they realize what is really happening around them. Bravo for him for realizing how shallow the ties here are. I hope he finds some better friends too. Some more intellectual people who he can find common ground with. Because I see so many people here stuck as if its still the first 6 months of their adventure here. As if they're still in high school. Drinking everyday. Fighting everyday. And for what? KTV hoes. So sad. I wonder when they'll realize how big the void is in their hearts that they're really trying to fill with all this partying, hoeing around, and drinking.

Bliss

2010-11-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

Appropriately titled, this little lounge on Jin Xian lu kind of serves as a little after work escape for me. I have been rarely out and about in this area for a long time, but since I haven't seen the girls in awhile I felt I'd show up for dinner. Plus, a mutual friend was visiting so a dinner was set up.

I know I haven't left yet but I'm already starting to miss all these little conveniences. It must be a similar lifestyle in New York, where you can just take a taxi anywhere you want and not have to worry about driving, traffic, or parking.

Everyone at dinner today has work that is somewhat related with technology and trends. It seems somewhat of a given... since we did grow up in this generation. I read an article lately about how your job is most likely obsolete if you're not proficient with a computer. Ain't that the truth.

I don't even think I can separate myself from one for more than a few hours.

Work has been pretty crazy lately. When I get in the morning, I feel like my soul has been sucked dry by 2p.m. I sometimes wonder how other people's days are. I know we're a busy company, but it's so hard to explain the different kind of "busy" we are... versus... advertising, or marketing, or events.

I'm constantly looking at technology and trying to see if things can work with each other. I guess its 24 hour problem solving. I hated word problems during math class, and I hate the Rubiks cube, as well. Maybe thats why my brain is so tired by 2p.m.

Which is why I'm even happier there are places like Bliss. I can just sit down, talk to my friends, and relax. De-stress, chill, unwind a bit before I go home and go to bed, and wake up and tackle the same thing all over again the next day.

Sure it's fun living in a big city. But with your family all overseas, it's hard to unwind by yourself sometimes. That annoying feeling called "loneliness" kind of fucks it up.

Okay, so I'm a slacker

2010-11-11T23:43:00.000+08:00

When I moved here in 2003, I thought I was only going to be here a month. It's been almost a decade.

I used to have a blog that I updated at least 1x a day. When it broke it got deleted from the internetz and I never bothered to blog again. Also, back then, blogging wasn't as mainstream. There was no blogger, no livejournal, I don't even know if myspace was popular yet, though I remember Friendster did exist. Either way, I stopped blogging when my previous space in the internet abandoned me.

Since I won't be living here forever, I think I'm going to start blogging like I used to again. I think what happened was that, over the years, I did start to blog again, however because everyone and their mothers started to be more proficient with the internet, and myspace and facebook blew up, it was hard to really keep blogging since a lot of the stuff I wanted to write offended a lot of people. It's been almost 10 years since I really kept a blog. So, since I'm going to start again, here's a Fuck You to all of you that may get offended one way or another. :)

Is this what love is supposed to feel like?

2010-11-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

Wow. Bruno Mars.

I like a little of what he's feeling.

Hard Decisions

2010-10-17T01:20:00.000+08:00

According to my horoscope, it's natural for me to be bad a making decisions. I can't decide between donuts or bagels, chocolate or coffee. They're both good. How do I decide? Why do I have to decide? Why not just take both?

最近发现要做的决定越来越多，越难越可怕。

最可怕的是，难道牺牲的人一定是我吗？不是两个人都要一起牺牲吗？为什么我重视觉得亏的人是我？

私は嘘を聞きたくない。そういう意味じゃないです。私は聞きたいのは愛。　どんなに大変になっても、どんなにいやになっても、そばにいてくれる。そういう事は聞きたい。たぶん、あなたはいつか我慢も出来なくてあきらめたい。でも今なら、そいう事を言ってくれれば、私は貴方に走ていける。

[3.1]

2010-10-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

It's so confusing to be a woman

2010-10-09T17:14:00.001+08:00

Previously, we were supposed to work hard so we can get into the top positions coveted by men, and usually given to men. Now we're not? Why are women so confusing?

Why I envy Generation Me who choose love over career - and children above status

The Case for Women Who "Opt Out" of Careers for Families

Women are happy without men

Which is it??? Seriously! Make up your damn minds.

Moganshan

2010-10-09T14:07:00.000+08:00

I went away, far from the city for a few days this past week. I saw a lot of old, poor people in homes, living in pretty bad situations. But perhaps they were happy? I saw lots of old ladies just sitting there watching their old black and white TVs, watching old war movies. Reminded me of my grandma, when she was still here. We would watch "Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Ying Tai (Butterfly Lovers)" over and over everyday. She would sing along, too.

Moganshan is famous for its bamboo. I was hoping to run around in it, but they were so densely populated that I would have been difficult to manuever. I did almost go down the bamboo hiking path but with the ground so slippery and covered with weeds I was afraid I'd fall down the mountain and never be found. I'll upload some photos later, when I have time.

There were a lot of other trees mixed in with the bamboo, but this is what it looked like, for the most part:

I needed some time away to do some thinking, to clear up my mind a little... I think I've figured out what has been frustrating me, and what I've been scared of so I couldn't make my move. Now that I know what it is... I still don't know what to do. /sigh

わたしはまだ一人ぼっちです

2010-09-19T20:17:00.000+08:00

You know when you've got a fever almost up to 39 degrees Celsius, was able to pull through a day at work and then working off your blackberry while having the fever in bed, sweating, not being able to feel your legs feeling like you have to vomit, and still responding to work emails you're pretty hardcore. On top of that, sweating through the night unable to sleep and waiting till the hospitals open at 7am, then dragging yourself to the hospital as soon as they open is a pretty hard feat. Then getting plugged up to an IV machine for about 9 hours in some tiny hospital bed watching bags and bags of yellow and clear liquid drip into your body.... well... I did it all by myself. I guess I'm proud of myself. I didn't want to call anyone because I didn't want to waste anyones time, I'm sure everyone is busy with their own lives, I can take care of myself as I have been for the past 7-8 years. Although I'm unsure how much longer I can stay here, it's clearly beating my immune system to bits, it's hard to stay healthy when you're surrounded by so much pollution, germs, bad sanitation, and diseases due to all that I've mentioned.

But because my parents sold their house, I'm also unsure where I can go. I'm not sure I can go back to the US anymore because people are so busy with their own lives. I don't want to be a burden to anyone, or waste people's time. Maybe I'm just stuck here now.

Ow. It hurt.

Crumble

2010-09-17T18:27:00.000+08:00

Ugh....

I think my body is overheating.

I don't usually get sick in summertime. Well, sometimes. But that's usually in the beginning of summertime when Asia gets super humid and hot and everyone blasts their air conditioning, so your body goes from a really hot and humid environment to a really cold and dry environment. I'm not sure what made me sick but I have a fever now. I can't feel my legs normally, they feel super sensitive to the touch, and it takes a lot of effort to walk. I feel dizzy and nauseous, and I had to force myself to stay at work and finish a presentation document before leaving at 5pm despite feeling the need to leave after lunch.

Now I feel so sick and burnt that I don't think I can lie down, I'm just quietly sitting here.... I hope this goes away soon, I hope it's a one night thing. I hope my entire weekend isn't wasted on being sick. I have a raid to do. heh.

I feel a lot of work pressure lately. I think I'm getting burnt out. Nothing is ever 100% sure. Decisions are never set in stone. Granted, that's the nature of the market or even the industry, but when you're forced to sprint constantly you start to lose your speed....

Fix your Shizz. Nao.

2010-09-13T13:48:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I've ranted. But I have a good reason to rant today.

Trying to watch movies here is really a hassle.

It’s just so damn annoying to ask them to get one little detail right.

So I’ve been wanting to watch Inception for MONTHs. I had heard so many good things about it, but I haven’t had time to watch it, and it also took months to even get here. Additionally, finally, it was uncensored (because how can you censor something you can’t understand, lol silly rabbits).

So I finally convince a girlfriend of mine to go watch the movie before it goes out of the theatres. And we get there, pay our money, and sit down.

When the movie starts, the bass is so loud, the audio is unintelligible. I had to resort to reading the subtitles to try and understand what was going on, and within 10 minutes, I was getting more and more pissed off. What I had heard was that you need to watch every minute of movie or just end up being confused throughout the rest of it. 10 minutes in I had no idea what was going on and so I figured, okay, I’m going to do something about this. This is not okay. They are not getting away with this. And so, here is what happened, and how effing STOOPID these people are.

Me: Why is the audio so low?

Staff: The audio isn’t low.

Me: Yes, it is. Go listen to it yourself.

Staff: Let me get the manager.

Manager: This is how the audio is intended.

Me: Are you kidding?

Manager: No, this is how we got the film.

Me: You got the film with the audio NOT working?

Manager: All of the movie theatres in this country got the same film.

Me: So all of the movie theatres in the country have their bass turned up in an attempt to make the audio audible?

Manager: ...this is how the film was intended.

Me: So basically you’re lying to my face right now.

Manager: I’m not lying. This is how the film is.

Me: In the entire country?

Manager: Yes, the entire country.

*explodes*

Me: Okay, let me tell you something, you half-wit, THIS is not how the audio is supposed to be. Are you telling me that all audio is supposed to be so low that you have to READ the subtitles to understand what they are saying? And are you telling me that you did not turn up the bass to ridiculous proportions to try and make up for the audio being low? Are you telling me that you purposely turned up the bass SO LOUD that the audience can hear the speakers CRACKING and shaking because its TOO LOUD, and you’re hoping no one is smart enough to notice? Are you telling me that you are UN-AWARE that one of the speakers in this theatre is broken, which is WHY you turned it up this loud, so that you don’t have to close one of the theatres for repair, so that you can STILL MAKE MONEY off of unsuspecting movie-goers? Tell me that is not your effing excuse, right now. TELL ME TO MY FACE, right now, you damned liar.

Manager: I’m not lying, no one else is complaining.

Me: BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID. I’ll tell you something else. Either you 1) refund my money or 2) fix the damned speaker. And if you decide to refund MY money, you will have to refund everyone else’s money in the audience. Because you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to go right up to the front of the theatre, and I’m going to tell them that you are ripping them off of their money, because the theatre speakers are broken, and you are hoping they don’t notice so you can still sell tickets. Then tomorrow, I’m going to write a review of your SHIT-TASTIC theatre, and post it everywhere on the internet, and also submitting it to magazines, about WHAT A RIP OFF your theatre is pulling, and I’m going to tell everyone to bring back their ticket stubs and get a FULL REFUND for your EFFING scam. Got that? Now tell me, which option are you going to pick.

Manager: You can’t do that!

Me: Why not?

Manager: That’s over the line.

Me: Oh? So you ripping off my money, and everyone else’s money, ISN’T over the line? You lying to us to make money, ISN’T stepping over the line?

Manager: You can’t write that review.

Me: Yeah? So I’ll tell you how you can get me not to write that review. I want you to go upstairs and FIX the DAMNED SPEAKER. Right this effing instant. Get your ass in that little box, and FIX. YOUR. SHIT. The movie has been going on for 25 minutes now, and within the next 5 minutes, I want BOTH speakers working. I WANT IT TO BE HOW THE MOVIE WAS INTENDED. And if you don’t fix it within 5 minutes, you better start looking for another job tomorrow. Get the hell out of my face.

*I sit down, and in the next 5 minutes, the speakers crack a few times, and then wah-la! The audio is doubled, the speaker is fixed.*

Audience: Oh! The speaker was broken! That’s why the sound was so low!

That stupid fking monkey.

Hope

2010-09-11T10:16:00.000+08:00

With all the things that humans wish for, I suppose the only thing you can keep for yourself is hope. I hope things come to fruition soon. I hope I am enable to reach my goals, I hope I'm able to find the happiness I'm searching, or waiting for.

Star Wars x Adidas x CLOT

2010-08-20T19:24:00.001+08:00

These are cool. Me likes.

I really think clothes define the person. And I think clothes expresses your personality. It might be hard for someone to find their own style in the beginning, but once they find it and keep going with it, it lets you be creative in a completely different way. I love clothes. Especially limited edition ones that are hard to find.

I like what they've done to the shoes, apparently it glows in the dark. Well I sure hope so....! That's the pimpest part of these shoes.

Jeremy Scott is AWESOME. I LOVE THESE. I must have this!!

MUST HAVE. OMG. OMG!!!! HOT!!

I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been in a good mood

2010-08-20T12:29:00.000+08:00

Isn't that odd?

Tee hee.

Actually, it shouldn't be. I usually am in a good mood about 75% of the time. I just choose to rant and rave on this blog because I can. And it's the easiest thing for me to do when I can't rant anywhere else. So too bad! Deal with it!

So I'm going to be doing a lot of traveling soon. I'm excited. This is because my little <3 will be coming with me! And I'm going to be super happy since I get to take him around places I know quite well. I'm going to Tokyo soon for a good friends wedding... I'm really excited about that. The Q4 of any year usually is my most happiest time. Not to mention Halloween is around this time..... I really love it. I'm happy. With so many things going on my life, I'm still stressed, but I'm happy. I'm going to try to accept that some things can't be changed, and I'm going to try to enjoy more, the fact that I am alive and healthy. This is my rare happy blog. I'm sure I'll have something to rant about tomorrow. Maybe if I see an annoying person on the subway I will get all pissed and rant again. Don't get me wrong. I ENJOY ranting. It's fun. I like pointing out and making fun of bad behavior. If you're picking your nose in public, I SHOULD take a photo of you and post it everywhere. :) See you soon, Tokyo!

Peace!

Resigned

2010-07-29T11:22:00.002+08:00

Fighting hard for everything you want in your life takes a toll on your mental health. From as early as I can remember, I've fought for everything I've wanted, and I've worked hard for it. But now I'm tired.

I'm going to leave everything up to fate. Whatever it decides, it decides. I'm no longer going to try to change anything anymore. There is no point when obstacle after obstacle comes in your way, no matter how many nights you worked for it, hoped for it, done everything you can to procure it.... whatever will be, will be. I'm no longer going to fight for it. I'm going to detach myself from all this and just be silent. I'm just really tired of it all.

I'm going to accept whatever it throws at me, and just try to keep a glimmer of hope alive.

Sigh. 25 years..... of memories

2010-07-11T07:53:00.000+08:00

I've lived in this house for 25 years. And though I've lived overseas, I've still considered it my home. I've gone to preschool, kindergarten, middle school, high school, and college all around this area so its full of memories -- happy and sad -- of my entire life.

Now that my family is moving, it's so hard to say goodbye to this house that I've grown up with. I've been dealing with this reality for a few months now, and every day that passes unfortunately does not make the reality any harder to accept.

I don't know if I want to buy another house again, I think I'd be too sad. :(

No more gym

2010-06-28T01:36:00.000+08:00

I had been hoping to go to the gym every morning this week, but I don't think I can do it anymore. It's unfortunate, since I had paid so much money for it. Almost $1000usd for the gym that I had only gone to for 1.5months or so. Now that I'm suffering from insomnia, I don't think I can have enough energy to work out for 2 hours in the morning everyday and still go to work.

I've learned so much just in a few hours. I don't think women and men can ever be truly equal. Silly me for thinking that inequality was only something that diseased Asian men. Silly me, for believing ....

I think I might disappear for awhile, be off facebook, blogs, buzz.

Sayonara.

強くない。

2010-06-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

私の心はやっぱり思ってより強くない。
やっぱり痛すぎて、痛すぎて、もう今のは最後の力。

部屋は寒い。。。エアコンも強すぎて。。。全部は強すぎて、彼のひどい言葉と同じ。
でも彼が言いた言葉はエアコンより寒いと感じてる。

もしエアコンは寒すぎて私は風引いて死んだらどうする？せめてこの苦しみは終われるでしょ。

何、私はなんでこの変な事考えてるの？　私らしくない。

これは愛、かな。。。

痛い。

2010-06-27T22:57:00.000+08:00

心が痛くて、眠れない。
私を愛してる人は私の事を信じてくれない。

何で？　私は悪いもの何もしてないのに。

付き合った時、私はがんばって良い彼女になりたいと思った。
メールでも、電話でも、SMSでも、彼が望んだ事私できれば全部あげました。

でも何で？

何で私は悪いこと何もやってないのに私のせいにするの？

強くなれ。　我慢して。　

彼は分かってくれる。　話せば分かってくれる。　絶対に。。。

彼が怒る時私の心は痛い。　眠れない。　食べれない。　仕事できない。

何時までこの苦しみが残るの。。。。

私は本当に強い何の？　自分には嘘つけてるかも知れない。

でも彼のこと本当に愛してるから。。。

私は強い人でわない。　力がないまで頑張る。。。怖いのは。。。最近もっともっと疲れてる。

I don't understand

2010-06-27T18:16:00.000+08:00

Why do people ask you for the truth if they can't handle it? Is the best thing to do to lie to them to their face then? I don't want to lie. I just want to answer your question. But can you handle the answer?

If you ask the question, you should be able to. When I asked the questions and I heard the truth, I braced myself for it. I was upset, I was hurt, I was disappointed, but I asked for the answers and I got them. And I embraced it, because I know the truth now, and I'm okay with it.

I don't know how to handle it if I tell the truth but it hurts the person asking it. I just wanted to be honest.
How come I can't ever be right? It's either lie or speak honestly. Shouldn't speaking honestly be rewarded?

I really don't understand at all.

All I know is right now I'm so confused as to whether or not I did the right thing. I always thought that speaking the truth was the correct thing to do.

Falling off the diet wagon?

2010-06-04T23:23:00.003+08:00

You'll get back on it after you watch this.

And every time you feel like eating, just watch this again.

Stoofoo bitches, diaf

2010-06-04T16:10:00.002+08:00

I love how people who aren't even a part of a situation stick in their 2 cents about it, as if they've been there the entire time, known about everything for years, watched everything from backstage, heard every single conversation that happened, and then stick in their expert advice. Then they take the side of their friend, as if they know the whole story and understood both sides. Stoofoo bitches, diaf.

Perhaps the story they heard was exaggerated and told leaving out huge chunks of information? I bet it doesn't matter since all they need to hear is one side of the story in the first place, anyway. Doesn't really make me want to meet these people, and if I do ever meet these people, it will be very unpleasant.

Streetfighter Facebook FTW

2010-06-03T17:20:00.001+08:00

Do you wanna ride in my rocket?

2010-05-26T19:11:00.000+08:00

Please, get in. >=D

I promise I won't fly straight up 100 miles and then dismount and watch you plummet to your death. I have nothing to do with the little pile of bones you see there. Really.

Troubleshooting

2010-05-26T18:53:00.000+08:00

I've been working on my laptop for 4 days. I've done everything I can to try and see what the problem is with my ethernet port.

Since Sunday, I have:

1) Run a System Restore (2x)
2) Uninstalled my drivers (2x)
3) Tried 3 different cables off 2 different modems with 2 different laptops
4) Rebooted the system BIOS
5) Run a system wide virus scan
6) Scanned the system boot screen
7) run sfc /SCANNOW in cmd
8) Reinstalled my OS

And nothing has worked. After I had done up to step 7, it was clearly a motherboard problem and NOT an OS issue, since I still had my wireless working AND my drivers were all updated and working. So obviously the ethernet port wasn't connecting with my cable and wasn't reading its existence. The worst thing is, after I told the Alienware technician guy that it's a motherboard problem, he told me that he wouldn't send out a new motherboard UNTIL I had reinstalled the OS. SERIOUSLY? What part of a motherboard defect do you not understand??

Basically he was accusing me of wanting a new motherboard.

What an asshole.

So just to play their stupid game, the OS was reinstalled today and of course the ethernet port still is dead. Now what? Give me my stupid motherboard, you cheapskates!

This is so beautiful

2010-05-24T16:18:00.003+08:00

Ahhh.... emails and work on the left, Gaming in the middle, and chatting on the right..... while watching TV on top if you wished. How beautiful is this setup?

I can't wait to move back to the States so I can start setting up my dream "workstation." This is exactly the way I would set it up. That table is also from Ikea... I've wanted to buy it several times but I never had room in the house to put it. But once I get back to the US..... this will become a reality.

My Alienware laptop's ethernet port broke. Which is all kinds of fking FAIL. This means I can't connect to the internet through cable. WTF dude. I have to use wireless, in a place where the internet is already slow as hell? REALLY? Wireless??

Especially for a hardcore gamer.... stable, plugged in connectivity is crucial. It's like the air I breathe. There is nothing more fail than your character raising an arm to do that final finishing blow... and then you get "You have been disconnected." Fking fail, wireless!!!!!! And then that Orc with 200hp left turns around and starts healing himself... WORSE YET... attacking you. And you, in all your epicly overgeared glory, stands helpless with one arm raised... running in place... while a fail noob Orc whittles your 30,000HP away..... fking fail, man.

This must be fixed!!! Damn you, ethernet port. Damn you, Alienware, for costing thousands of dollars and still having shitty quality!! Damn you, Dell, for buying Alienware and using your crap factories that manufacture crap Dells to also manufacture Alienware components, which now also makes it crap quality!! Damn you alllllll!!!!!!!!!!

I am in the process of getting this fixed. And when I am back.... hell hath no fury like a woman and her laptop scorned.

Home Sweet Home

2010-05-20T17:44:00.000+08:00

My family is moving so we are selling the house that I've lived in for many, many, years. This is devastating to me even though I've been living abroad. I've always thought that I would go back and go "home," back to my room, back to that familiar street, back to that familiar city. But even if I go home permanently next year... where do I go? More importantly, since my parents are moving back to Taipei, how do I get my family members under one roof again? Are our gatherings really only limited to Christmas and other holidays? I can't go home just one weekend and see everyone anymore?

That city was my life for so much of my childhood. And even adulthood. I've never thought about not having a home in that city. Even if I moved to another city, I always felt that once I stepped foot in those familiar boundaries I would feel like I belonged.

My home will never be where I am currently living. And I don't want it to be.

It was a shocking decision that we are actually really going to sell the house. We've talked about it for several years but I think we were all hesitant. It's hard for me to believe that this is real, that the next time I go home, I will just be a visitor.

I feel that I've taken for granted all the time that I spent with my family. I always thought that we would be "home" together, that it was good enough. And now that it's going to be gone, those minutes that we all shared under one roof seems so few and far between. If I had moved home years ago, would things be different now? I'm not sure. But I feel like now the minutes and seconds that we spend together will be that much more precious, because there's no longer an endless pool of time.

Chinese Tea

2010-05-19T16:52:00.000+08:00

If you go into a little Tea Store and they tell you your complexion looks bad and they say you need some special tea mixture to be more healthy, don't believe them, even if the tea they're trying to sell you costs 20rmb for 10 bags. I don't know what got into me, I just felt like getting some tea and I think I was too lazy to say, "No." 20rmb for 10 bags, why not, right? Anyways, I tried the tea today and the taste is so light I taste nothing but water. I even brewed 2 bags at once. Now I have 18 bags of unflavorful tea.... at least the rose buds inside look pretty floating around.

Odd that I'm saying this, but the tea shops targeted at the foreigners here actually sell much much better tasting tea, and authentic as well. Sorry Mom and Pop shops, I just don't trust you guys. At least not in this country.

Kingdom Hearts, Birth By Sleep

2010-05-18T13:45:00.000+08:00

I must get this. It looks amazing.

Usually I don't like to wait for the English versions because of bad dubbing, but when Disney is involved, everything is usually perfect. And looking at the list of actors they have doing the voice recordings, I think I'll wait for this one. :)

http://kotaku.com/5540790/kingdom-hearts-birth-by-sleep-dated-detailed-and-psp-bundled/gallery/

Pirated DVDs

2010-05-13T22:33:00.003+08:00

So we assume that the studio has a leak which is why someone in Russia is able to get a copy of the movie, copy it a few million times, and sell it for $2 on the street to developing nations.

However, where do the subtitles come from?
No, I don't mean the movies with the perfect english subtitles. Usually they're only perfect if the studio also leaked a script, or the movie has been out for a long time already.

My question is, where do the half ass, 80% of the time doesn't make sense Chinese subtitles come from? I'm talking about when I watch movies that just came out a few weeks ago, and there's the chinese subtitle on the bottom. But when you read the subtitle it's not completely translated correctly. The actor could be saying something like, "Yeah, whatever you dumbass. You swear I would do something like that. I'm not down with it." And the Chinese would be translated into, "No, I won't do it. I don't do crime." (But in Chinese).

It's like, who sat there, and could only half understand the English slang, but decided to translate it like that for his countrymen? Is there some dude who sits there in a dark room and watches all the movies and writes his own transcript of the movie? How long does it take him to do it? Does he use urbandictionary? How much does he get paid?

And how does he introduce himself if others ask what he does for a living?

"I'm the guy that translates all the new movies from English to Chinese, except I don't understand all of it so I just translate it however I want by what I think they're saying."

Just curious.

God, Please give me more time

2010-05-12T22:45:00.001+08:00

V FINALLY watched this series after I raved about it for years to her and talking to her about it brought me back memories of it. I think I watched this when I was 18 or so, and it was so touching and really well done that it became one of the best dramas I've ever seen.

It's about this girl Masaki who saved up a lot of money to watch the concert of a composer she really admires. She leaves her purse in the phone booth and it's stolen, along with all the money she saved to buy the ticket. The concert is only a few days away, and she gets influenced by other girls around her age (at that time, this was, and still is, a big problem in Japan) to sell her body to get cash. Unfortunately, the man she sleeps with has AIDs because he's been sleeping around, and passes it to her.

She ends up meeting Keigo (the composer) after his concert by running up the bridge in front of his car and holding up a huge sign she made for him. And then their relationship starts. However, as her friends and family finds out she has AIDs, she loses everyone close to her and has to find the strength to keep living on. At the same time, the paparazzi is following Keigo around, and his singer is in love with him.... and he has to figure out whats more important to him.

I think what makes the story good is that the acting was superb and Kyoko Fukada (who plays Masaki) was only 17 at the time (same age as the character). And Takeshi Kaneshiro (half Taiwanese/Japanese) was good at playing Keigo, of course.

I used to listen to the theme songs over and over and over. I don't think they make dramas like this anymore.

Opening Song
(I for You by Luna Sea)

Drama Theme
(In The Sky by Kudo Shizuka)

Of course, when I was 18, I was so amazed after watching this that people could love each other so much.
lol.

Wow that's kind of unfair

2010-05-06T19:02:00.000+08:00

Who gets to have their cake and eat it too?

Certainly not I.

When you think of what women have to go through, unfair pay, getting pregnant (which ruins the body, causes 9 months of pain and possibly death), and having to work through glass ceilings in their career you think... wow it must suck to have to be born a woman.

And especially in long distance relationships, in the movies we always see women having to move to be near their men. Or, their men either cheats on them, finds another woman, or they break up. Why do men get to be so lucky? Why does there have to be a timeline? A deadline for supposed true "love?" When was the last time you actually heard that a man moved to be near his woman? Oh right... in Good Will Hunting, where he says, "Sorry. I have to go see about a girl."

Yeah, right, in another movie.

It's always the women who have to sacrifice everything for a man. We quit our jobs, move countries, have no income, depend on the men, become depressed and emo and then the man finds another woman and tells us, "You're so depressing. You're just not right for me." If it's supposed to be true love and you really love a person, shouldn't there be no timeline? No deadline? You would be able to wait? If you think about how some women move to Shanghai to be with their expat husbands, all they do everyday is stay at home with the kids. They're unhappy, they can't find jobs, and they just watch as their husbands cheat on them because now they're stuck here and they've already made the decision to move to where their men are. It's a horrible cycle.

What allows the men to benefit off this? What do the women benefit? They get pregnant, their form is ruined, they have been out of a career for a year, when they apply for another job its "Why did you move here?" "To be with my husband." How does that sound good to anyone?

WHY does there always have to be a deadline? If you love someone shouldn't you be able to wait for them? Why are men so selfish? Don't they realize that the woman has to give up everything she stands for? Everything that she represents? Why isn't anything ever enough? They need to stop writing movie scripts like this. It just pisses me off.

Wonderful

2010-05-03T17:52:00.001+08:00

In addition to my previous 2 taxi driver stories, I have to say that today I met another taxi driver who took me to the airport. I was thirsty so I asked him to stop at a convenience store so I could buy a drink. And he said, "There's no need. I just bought one this morning. Unopened. Here you go." And I said, "No no, it's okay, if I drink that, what are you going to drink?" And he goes "It's okay, you drink it." And he insisted because my throat was hurting so I finally took it. WHAT a nice guy. So I'm going to ask him to take me to the airport everytime I go to and from Taipei then.

So now I'm waiting to head back to [place]. No matter how modern it looks it's still full of NICE MANNERED PEOPLE (*comment harmonized). I will go back to staying at home and leaving the house as little as possible unless it's night time or to a specific place. I do 0 shopping there, I do 0 walking in the parks, I do absolutely nothing that forces me to be in a mass of people. The only time I go out is at night time when everyone goes home. That way, I avoid what I want to avoid.

I'm using the free internets at the Taipei airport. Free internets ftw! Not only in terms of cost, but in speech. If it was a lifestyle choice I would move back here in an instant. Unfortunately, not everything is so easy and it's near impossible. The wage compensation here is lower than poverty level in the states because of the small market. A market that is always fluctuating near the red. So that means I must come back here and consume more and support the local economy! I always eat at mom and pop shops, I rarely ever go to restaurants in Taipei. There's just no need at all.

I had a nice long talk with my relatives this weekend. About me being where I am, how I felt about it, and my future. I have definitely missed my family. I think I should come back more often. My aunt is getting sick and must go to the hospital everyday to get a health check. My uncle is also very old.... additionally, I wanted to see my grandma this weekend (which is mainly why I came back) but I couldn't because I got sick. With her fragile body it's probably not the best idea.

My friend made a very interesting comment this weekend. He also lives in LOVELY UNPOLLUTED PLACE (*comment harmonized). He said that *someplace was the real *someplace. Love how I harmonize everything? I learned it from the media here.

I hope there are no babies on the plane. At if there are, please have them shut up and be quiet.

I love little boutique stores. I found a nice pair of [gifts] today for my <3. I think it's hard to find elsewhere and there was only one. So I bought it. I hope it fits. It's so adorable.

I want a cat. I want Bob back. Give me back Bob, you asshole.

I gained so much weight in Taipei. I ate everything. Sigh. I would walk by something and smell it, and turn around and buy it. I would see a sign with a bowl of noodles and I would walk there and order something. I ate all day, everyday. I guess it's okay, because there is no food for me back in AWESOMELAND. (*comment harmonized) I will just starve like I always do because I don't eat anything but salad and sandwiches, and I don't eat after 7pm. So usually I just starve. I think of it like a diet.

I went to the clinic today at the airport. The doctor also lived in XXXXX for a bit. She told me that all the dieseases there are stronger so your immune system takes a beating. She told me to exercise more and build up my health so I can fight against it.

I would love to retire in Taipei.

I want to go to Okinawa.

I want to go to the Shaolin Temple.

One thing I think is super awesome is Wuxia Novels. How awesome are those. I prefer them to fantasy and sci-fi novels. I grew up watching and admiring Jet Li. I admire him more than JC. Wuxia novels should be all translated. The reason why I came here is because I wanted to see all the places that the Wuxia novels talked about. Wudan mountain, Shaolin Temple.... I need to go there... soon.

I still have a lot of time until I board.

I saw this article the other day about how Little Emperors these days are the worst, because not only do they get spoiled being the only child, but they grow up to expect everyone else to be the same. They get all the money from the family, and they use family connections to get into jobs. This is why I never hire people with families in the big cities. People from the countryside work harder. It's a fact. Everyone knows this. Granted, there are a few from the big cities from meager backgrounds who work just as hard. But if you were to interview 10 people, the ones from small cities will work harder for you.

I was at another computer where some guy before me changed the browser language to THAI. Then they left their login name on the facebook "name" field and when I clicked "password" it showed the password. What an idiot. I was seriously contemplating logging in and posting all kinds of crap on their facebook to teach them a lesson. But I let my conscience talk me out of it. He'll learn his lesson someday from his carelessness, and I don't want that on my karma.

I recruited 2 more friends to play WoW. I'm so damn good at this.

Hey look, my runny nose and throat pain is gone. Man I love Taiwan. 2 pills and I am no longer suffering.

You have to wonder why people think everyone likes babies. I don't like your baby. I don't think it's cute. Don't show me pictures of your stupid baby. I don't care. All they do is cry and poo and shit. Take it away.
I don't like your baby unless I like you. So the woman sitting next to me on the plane learned this the hard way. Her baby was crying and making a fuss and she kept cooing to it even when it was quiet. Nobody wants to hear your cheesy baby talk. Shutup. I asked the stewardess to change my seat because it was loud and annoying. The baby woman got the point and swtiched seats with her husband. Yeah, that's right. Take your annoying baby and go away. If I ever have a baby I'm not going to fly until he's old enough to understand "Shutup now."

I left a tip for my room service maid lady who kept cleaning my hotel room. I left 100NT worth of coins in a happy face and wrote her a thank you note. I think people who do hard labor like that (well, not hard labor but shes older and I'm sure she has a family) should get reminded that we appreciate their services. Just like the older taxi drivers. They are trying to make a living. I'm sure they have daughters or granddaughters. I just want to support them.

I went to find my favorite potsticker place behind California but the couple weren't there again. I hope nothing happened to them. I really love their potstickers.

I'm so full. I ate too much. But beware, tummy!! Days of hunger loom ahead!! Enjoy digesting clean food while you can.

What's up with French people and FeiYue shoes? Stop buying 1000s of them when you come to GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH. *harmonized

You're making the prices skyrocket and they really aren't worth that much. Silly french people. I like those shoes at 20rmb, thank you very much. Now that you buy hundreds of them and sell them for $$$ back in Paris the price already went up to 30rmb. It's only a matter of time until they're 100rmb each for locally made shoes at the overhead cost of 5rmb. And no, the workers and laborers do not see the money, it goes to the rich owners. So stop it and go buy your crappy Louis Vuitton.

Kthxbai.

I love Taipei taxi drivers

2010-05-02T02:55:00.000+08:00

Today I had dinner with some friends and because we ate so much, my stomach hurt! On my way home from dinner the taxi driver knew I had a stomach ache, and proceeded to talk to me about all kinds of things. And before he dropped me off, he asked me if my stomach felt better, and told me he wanted to talk to me to get my mind off my stomach ache and hoped I felt better. So nice.

And 2 weeks ago, I asked to be driven to a store that seemed closed at 11a.m. So the driver came out and asked the other store owners nearby what happened the original store, so I wouldn't have to get out of the car and then be stuck if it was permanently closed. So nice.

What a difference.

I'm Sick

2010-04-30T11:36:00.002+08:00

The last two days I've been running on about 4-5 hours of sleep each night. And I haven't been sleeping well. I was wondering when I would get sick... and it seems... NOW!!

What a horrible time to get sick, right when I'm about to travel!

Pesticides!

2010-04-29T17:59:00.000+08:00

Living here for so many years has gotten me pretty paranoid about the food I consume. I don't go eat in holes in the wall, I don't eat at cheap crappy looking restaurants, I don't eat super greasy or oily food. In the past year, my diet has been limited to mostly salad and vegetables, and some chicken. In fact, I order the same chicken salad from the same expat owned place. That's been my diet for the past year. It's not because I don't want to eat other things, it's just that I really don't trust where the food is coming from.

Of course, it's not as if I'm *that* much safer eating at expat restaurants, since they most likely have similar suppliers. I'm just hoping that there is more moral dignity with the American owned restaurants that they are more stringent with their food quality checks and preparation. Some of the restaurants I go to are also owned by friends who care about this so at least I feel safer.

I can't wait to move home and not have to worry about this. Someday I plan to have kids and I want my body to be HEALTHY!!

When are these people going to stop caring about profit and be a little bit more responsible? And when are laws and punishment actually going to be enforced to deter people from being overly greedy? Sure it may not work all the time but at least it will prevent more farmers and corporations from exploiting the consumers.

Turtles. I want.

2010-04-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

I said I would go to sleep early tonight. 10p.m.
Except then I tried to play FF13 on my PS3 and after 2 hours of downloading I'm still at 14%. I wonder what is up with the internet speed? Oh yeah, no reason, just the GFW. Forgot about that.

Then I told myself I'd just do one daily on WoW, and got stuck looking at J's new turtle mount he got while fishing. He looks ridiculous as a paladin on that. Show off.

/goes fishing

Yay! BoA Bump Bump Dance Edit!

2010-04-25T17:39:00.000+08:00

I was wondering when this version would come out! w00t!
I love the style in this video. And I love this song to bits.

Home Sweet 2nd Home

2010-04-25T17:15:00.000+08:00

Only a few more days until I get to go home again and eat. This time I'm going to visit some relatives and catch up. They haven't seen me in so long. Of course I need to lose some weight because they're going to tell me, "You gained weight!" Taipei has good looking people. Every time I travel some where I like to blend in, so if people look good, I try to look good. I always diet for months before I head back to Taipei or Tokyo. Going to school in Tokyo was a lot of pressure because everyone was good looking, fashionable, and skinny. Not that I should be caring what they think, but it's always a nice reason for me to focus more on my health and what I eat.

It's a nice day. I haven't stepped outside all day. Another weekend wasted staying in when I could be getting some vitamin D. It's really not good to stay in front of the computer all day. At least I went to the gym today. :)

On with the controversial comments

2010-04-25T16:45:00.000+08:00

Of course a Taiwanese kid is doing well for himself.

And of course the comments on where he "belongs" to, starts.

Deja Vu?

2010-04-25T00:40:00.001+08:00

I got a strange deja vu feeling, and it's not a good feeling. I've been through this before where nothing was good enough. And none of the things I can do to make things better can be done, because I'm not so powerful that I can control it. I don't have the position or the financial means to fix things right away. Thus, all I can do is just sit and wait, see if things go down the same path that I told myself never to go down again.

This always seems to be the problem when it's just not enough. Nothing is enough. There is nothing else I can give. I am doomed to this fate as long as I live where I live. People who don't live here just don't see how hard it is, and that I've already given all that I can.

Huh...?

2010-04-24T17:42:00.000+08:00

I have tried so hard. And it doesn't seem like it's enough. What does it take to be understood? Of course I want things to be simple and happy. But life isn't that easy. I take it in stride, I make the best of what I have, and I keep positive thoughts that it's just a matter of time, and if I can pull through it then it will all be waiting for me when things come together. When I decide on something or put my mind to it, I work towards it like there's no tomorrow. I don't go back and doubt if its the right path, if it's going to work out, if it's too hard. I just do it.

I've always thought that if you wanted something, if you loved someone, you would just do it for that person. But I never thought of what happens when you're the only one that doesn't have doubts. Maybe it's just easier for me. Even when I was little, when I decided on something and made that as a goal, I reached it, sooner or later, because I'm not a person to give up. It doesn't help when the other person is judgmental and doubtful. I try to keep my dreams alive with hope, and also with reality. But because I believe in something, reality isn't something that destroys what I'm hoping for.

I just want us both to stand on the same side and fight for the same thing. It's hard for me to do this alone, and it's hard for me to do it when I feel I'm always misunderstood.

WTF

2010-04-23T01:35:00.002+08:00

I can't fukin sleep.
Because my apartment smells like fukin mushrooms and burnt metal.
Mthr fuking fukin FUCK.

FUCK.

I Love Amanda Tanen

2010-04-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

She is the best part of "Ugly Betty," imo. Hilarious.

I find her sooooo funny. Loves it.

Were you saying something? Your mouth was moving and you were looking at me, but all I heard was 'blah blah blah'

[Amanda is about to show Daniel the DNA test]

Amanda Tanen: You know, even if this does come out positive, it only makes us half brother and sister. So if we did it 20 times, it was only wrong 10.

Marc: I'm not mean to you!

Amanda: You told me my head was too big for my neck!

Marc: That was constructive criticism!
Amanda: And what am I supposed to do about it?!

Amanda Tanen: [Betty is taking a picture to put on an online dating site] Head down, shoot from above, get those bangs to cover those caterpillars, and hide your chins by doing this
[puts both hands, touching at the fingertips, under her chin]
Amanda Tanen: , and for God’s sake, lose the glasses.
Betty Suarez: Amanda, I wear glasses, I'm not gonna lie.
Amanda Tanen: Whatever, but guys don't make passes at girls who are fat.

Betty Suarez: [Betty checks her profile on a dating website] Christina, look! I have responses to my profile!
Christina McKinney: 15 of them! First one's from ILoveTacos.
Betty Suarez: I love tacos!
Christina McKinney: Then ILoveChurros.
Betty Suarez: I love churros!
Christina McKinney: Then ILoveTortillas.
Betty Suarez: [realizes all of these are fake] Amanda, you're not funny.
Amanda Tanen: [walks over] I'm a little funny.

[Betty and Henry are trying to have a romantic moment in the copy room]
Amanda Tanen: Who is hogging the -?
[gasps]
Amanda Tanen: Oh, dorkus interuptus.
Betty Suarez, Henry Grubstick: GET OUT!
Amanda Tanen: [exits] Hey, everyone, Betty's in heat!

Amanda Tanen: [on phone] If I can't pay my bill, then I can't pay my rent, and if I can't pay my rent, then how will you send me my bill? See, this is actually all for you!

Blogger should let us post videos

2010-03-28T23:24:00.001+08:00

Because I want to link the song and play this video, because it's so awesome. Well the video isn't the most awesomest but I do love the song lots.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDdGUuWxXGE

S.H.E. finally went back to their roots and sang a Taiwanese song.

I have their entire album and it's not bad at all. In fact I think it's their best album since they've debuted.... maybe 10 years ago.

I really love this song.

Hard day in the corporate world

2010-03-16T21:20:00.000+08:00

WoW. Today was really stressful. I had a meeting scheduled at 5 p.m. that went on until 8 p.m. This was after everyone was informed that it would be short.

I don't know if I'm a part of the problem in today's corporate world, but I sure hope not. I'd like to think I'm proactive about enough things to keep projects moving forward.

In my previous company, 10 people would sit on their ass and surf online all day. I don't know what they're surfing considering they can't really access anything behind their "net nanny." I, on the other hand, can access whatever the hell I want. Even during those times that I can't, I go to the cached versions and day dream.

What am I talking about!?

Oh, yeah.

Well, looming in my face is about 2 weeks of OT and then 2 months of hard hard work.

Sigh..... I wonder when things suddenly became urgent... oh yeah... at 5p.m....

God of War III

2010-03-13T19:41:00.001+08:00

This game looks awesome. I think I will buy it. However, I like to do things in order, so first I'll have to finish playing my FF13, then finish my Bayonetta, then finish my God of War III. I don't like leaving things started and not finished. Just not the way I like to operate.

With that said, how awesome do the graphics look??

Ah, so pretty to stare at, and play for hours and hours. I enjoyed Heavenly Sword back then when it came out too, because it was pretty and had awesome finishing moves. It took me 3 days to beat the final boss. He was a bastard.

Anyhoo, so back to GOWIII. It looks like the battle design is going to be consistent with the previous 2 GOWs... which is fine for me. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? The story also continues where it left off in GOWII, where Kratos is still trying to kill his Father, Zeus. Can you even KILL Zeus?! You can't!! At least in the hundreds of Greek Mythology books I read said that Zeus couldn't be killed. Those scheming Gods, they always find a way.

Bad Romance

2010-03-13T19:31:00.001+08:00

I love this song. Lady GaGa is a great entertainer. And I love this song, Bad Romance. I listen to it all the time. I can listen to it all day, in fact, I have!! haha.

She's not singing about anything profound -- just about men and women wanting different things.
But it's funny how men and women think so differently.

People can want the same things but approaching it drastically differently.

It's confusing and sometimes, disappointing. Other times it could be a better option.

Meh. I'm tired.

Gone?

2010-03-05T16:41:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you think you have something and you think things are a certain way... but then it turns out that the truth behind it was just hidden and you didn't see it. What happens then? What do you do? I guess it's your own fault for letting your guard down. You should have known, you should have thought about it, but you were just happy with the way things were... because you thought you were seeing the truth.

I'm so vague.

I like to be vague.

I wonder if the result is going to be like all the other results I've experienced. I hope not. But I don't think there's anything I can do, because maybe I'm the only one hoping for it to change, for things to get better.

I feel wrongly criticized by something that's not in my control, and it's not something that I asked for, or planned to get. Maybe I did just get lucky. But being lucky isn't my fault. Maybe I got lucky because I was so unlucky in the past. Maybe someone thought that it was my turn to have a break. Why not be happy for me?

And so it seems...

2010-03-04T18:47:00.000+08:00

The bad weather will continue throughout the weekend. This is supposed to be one of the "warmest" winters of Shanghai. You've got to be kidding, right?

However, now that I think about it, there could have been colder winters. After all, I've been out of here for 2 months so who knows? As if I care anyways. Global warming is happening and we're all going to suffer because of the irresponsible corporations and other unnamed entities.

Apparently the 8.8 earthquake in Chile made the days shorter. It threw the Earth of axis a bit and now we get about 1.6 seconds less per day. This isn't something unique since it's a result of what earthquakes usually do. Less beauty sleep for me? :(

I'm looking forward to going back to the US again soon. I think being here seriously tests my patience a lot of the time. And I didn't have very much patience to begin with. Actually, that might not be completely true. I have a lot of patience if the person is really trying, and it's not something that's common sense. Like math.

I have no patience when someone doesn't know how to put a ticket in the ticket gate for subways. "GTFO my way, LADY!"

Time to go home. :D

Taihen

2010-03-02T15:38:00.001+08:00

Taihen.

Being in a relationship is so hard sometimes. What you want is always going to be different.
Maybe there will be sometimes that you will want the same things…but perhaps at least 50% of the time things are going to be a compromise.

I suppose that’s what love is. Learning how to compromise. However, I feel depressed about this sometimes, because of all the trial and errors one has to go through.

I want to stop feeling depressed and blah. Maybe it's the weather.

Oh noes... time to go back getting up early?!

2010-02-19T17:00:00.004+08:00

So I've been in the US for a good 2 weeks. Add in January, and in 2010, I've been in the US for almost two months. That's pretty good considering 2010 just started.

Being in the US makes me happy. Excluding the obvious, that everyone I care about is here, I love it because there's a sense of unity and a sense of peace. Sure, the economy is crap. Sure, housing prices are so high most people can't afford it...but besides all that, you have your basic necessities taken care of.

1) Clean Air
2) Clean Water
3) Clean Cities
4) Considerations and civility between strangers (most of the time).

7 years ago when I went to XX to live and work, it was exciting. It was new, it was developing, and there was a sense of adventure. But as you age, all those "benefits" that you enjoyed in XX is really just a fantasy.

The truth is, there really isn't anything great about it anymore. Why? Because there is no need for expats anymore. The pay is lower, the pollution is horrible, the people don't care about anyone but themselves, and you will never get any benefits for living there (unless you embezzle money or goods, or use slave labor for your manufacturing plant). So... what is the point anymore?

There are definitely things I love about it -- such as cheap massages and my maids, but besides that, there really isn't anything appealing. I do love the history, however. The problem with that is, everything I love is old and ancient. Ancient culture. Unfortunately, those are the aspects not being kept or made a priority on the preservation list. Therefore, when I want to visit old temples and ancient pagodas, they are defiled by tourism, and not even international tourism, domestic tourism that paints a cheap and shoddy image over what was once historical and grand. The cheap paint covering the carved wood stands next to dirty looking stands of "souvenirs" and other ghastly tacky memorabilia.

I used to love traveling around until each temple I saw no longer had the beauty of 1000 years ago. It's not even that its discolored.... that is fine. It's just the cheap marketing and the horrible "attractions" made to attract more tourism really destroys the atmosphere of the place. Add that to several million tourists, disgusting bathrooms, and lines hundreds of people long -- there really isn't much pleasure going to those sites anymore.

And for someone like me, who loves art and culture, ancient texts and lore... there isn't any of that for me to see so tell me what is left?

Of course all the drinking, dancing, and clubbing was fun for the first 4 years. But if you still drink and party till 6am every weekend 10 years later... you seriously have a problem. I see people like that all the time. They're in their mid-30s and partying up a storm, every weekend they're with a different hooker and buying bottles of goose. But is that really where one wants to be when you only have around 40 more years to live?

Perhaps they're escaping from something, or that is the glass ceiling that they've hit. There is no way for them to be any more successful than they already are, so might as well go down burning with the ship. Drink, be irresponsible, and party like there's no tomorrow, because for them, the rest of their tomorrows will forever be like their today.

I pity those that need to tell themselves lies to get by. It's okay to hate your life and try to move on with it and do your best. It's okay to tell yourself that the environment sucks and still do what you need to do everyday. There's no need to lie to yourself and pretend you're in a great situation when you're not. It just distorts your reality. What's wrong with aknowledging the fact that things suck, but you're still working towards your goals? I personally think that's healthier than telling yourself that everything is rosy, that "well its improved, it's better than it was 10 years ago," because that's a lie. Sure, things are less crappy now than 10 years ago but it's still crappy. The pollution has gotten better but you're still inhaling cancerous toxins. They're not going to go away just because one lies to themselves so its easier to accept.

I find it ludicrous that some can't just admit things suck... and still try forge on with their goals. Why is it either you tell yourself everything is great and you are "happy" or that you tell yourself how it really is, that things suck, but still be focused? I suppose it means their "reality" will come crashing down.

2010

2010-02-08T16:26:00.001+08:00

Hello, 2010.

I'm late in speaking to you but better late than never.

This year, I resolve to:

1) stop biting my nails
2) eat healthier
3) exercise more
4) read more books
5) love like i've never been hurt before

:)

Durr?

2009-11-13T16:05:00.000+08:00

The weather is freaking cold. It wasn't even this cold yesterday... What gives?!?!?!?!
Not only that, Google Maps show the amount of smog in the air. And since it's raining today, its just like ACID RAIN!

EW!!

Okay, I love Halloween in China

2009-11-02T14:55:00.000+08:00

There are lots of things I complain about. However, there are good things as well.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN in CHINA.

I can be anything I want. I can find and source anything I want. I don't think anything can compare to this. Halloween in China is the best. And it makes me totally say, I love China.

Oh, I also love Chinese Martial Arts films. There is nothing as cool as the ones that are made by China for the Chinese audiences. Flying on wires? Totally awesome. No other country can make the movies as good as China. So I love it!

wooo! I love costumes and martial arts!

PVP

2009-10-21T23:38:00.001+08:00

So many people ask me WHY I love playing World of Warcraft. I was never able to say it simply in words... I was never able to describe my feeling of joy and excitement when I'm in battle.

And then I saw this picture.

Ahh.... a picture speaks a thousand words.

that's you in the front, btw.

Insomnia!

2009-10-02T19:03:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been hard on me. I haven't been able to sleep. Most likely it's due to the fact that the time difference is so huge that when I wake up its 1 or 2p.m. in the afternoon.

Also, I have a lot of stuff to think about. I have a business trip coming up that I need to be prepared for. Having a business trip in between your vacation is kind of strange. You can't really get into the vacation mode, and then you can't really get into the working mode. How odd.

Anyway, I went to Target again today. Why is Target so awesome? I got workout shorts for 1.48$. Yes. THAT LITTLE. Isn't it insane? And to think it's cheaper than China!!!!!!! We are experiencing a revolution here, boys and girls.

Meh... I guess not

2009-10-01T17:41:00.000+08:00

So I returned the boots. Meh.

I was looking around the mall to day and there wasn't that many people. You'd think in a crappy economy there'd be even less people though. They say this is the worst economy in years but it didn't seem to stop people from buying $200 dollar Coach bags. Meh.

I just want to stay home and play WoW and relax these days. Going out seem to be such a big hassle. There's a lot of things I need to take care of around the house..... time is running out. I better get my act together and start with all my errands. I was tempted to go to Japantown to check out the new building that was recently remodeled. Supposedly it has tons of imported goods. I'm a sucker for Japanese snacks, makeup, and oddities so I tend to gravitate to these areas --- but I really have to control myself.

It sucks when your common sense gets the better of you. Or was that guilt after you spend a lot of money on random items? Maybe a bit of both.

Keeping myself locked to WoW prevents me from my horrible spending mistakes!

$250 dollar Diesel boots

2009-09-29T16:43:00.001+08:00

So, I feel guilty. Right after I got off the plane I went to Diesel and blew about $450 dollars on a dress, boots, and a scarf. The boots was $250usd in itself. Usually I don't spend so much money on clothes but I really needed flat boots...without the heel. I have to walk alot this year because of where the company is located, so all that walking hurts my feet every morning. Which is why I needed the boots.

But $250 dollars?! Really?!!?!?!?!

I've thought about returning them allllllll day because I feel so guilty. :(

However, when I go back to China I know they have crappy boots there with horrible designs. Ugh.
I hate shopping.

ViVa America

2009-09-28T03:50:00.000+08:00

Ah..... how beautiful the US is. How clean the weather, how nice the green mountains are, how tall the trees stand. So, so, so, nice.

I love you, America.

And I love the availabilty of the internets, the free unhindered speed of surfing the net in the US is equivalent to warp speed in Star Trek.

oh I love you, America the beautiful... how free your internets are.

Apartment Hunting once again

2009-09-21T18:43:00.000+08:00

I tend to move every year. That's because I get restless and I haven't found a place I love 100%, so I always think there are better places. This time, I'm going to look until I find a place I really, really, really, love. Good thing I'm starting early.

I don't plan to move from this place for at least 2 years... so I'm hoping I'll find some place that I can really settle down in for at least 600days. haha. However, what I'm mostly concerned about is the neighbors. How much they remodel, how clean they are, what their hygiene habits are -- really affect the complex. In the past several years, I've lived in both good and bad places. It's really about the people.

Taxi Drivers

2009-09-17T13:25:00.000+08:00

More specifically, Shanghainese taxi drivers piss me off.

Me: Take me to XXXX.
(drives to the cross street)
Driver: We're here.
Me: I want to go to #555.
Driver: We passed it.
Me: So turn around.
Driver: You only said XXXX.
Me: I said XXXX because that's the street. Now I want to go to building #555.
Driver: But you didn't say that when you got in the car.
Me: Take me to #555.
Driver: I can't now.
Me: Because you're too lazy to make a U-turn?
Driver: Because you didn't say it when you got in the car.

*bitch mode -- ACTIVIATED*

Me: Look here, you idiot, WHAT IS YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION.
Driver: .....
Me: WHAT IS YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION!!
Driver: hmph.
Me: I'll tell you what your JOB is. YOUR JOB is to take ME wherever the hell I want to go. If I say I want to go to Mongolia, you shut the fuck up and you take me there. If I say I want to go to AMERICA, you shut the fuck up and TAKE ME THERE. I don't fucking care if you gotta pull a dammned rubber raft out of your fucking asshole but you damn well better take me there. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Driver: You should have said the number when you got in the car.
Me: Shut the fuck up and make a fucking U-turn. NOW.

(Makes a U-Turn and drives to the right building)
Me: You see how easy that is? Now here's your damn money and have a nice day.

Ugh. What a fucktard. Stupid lazy Shanghainese taxi drivers.

Kanye West and MTV

2009-09-16T13:28:00.001+08:00

Lol.

I know it was rude of him but it's entertainment. Taylor looked like she was about to burst into tears. At least Beyonce had the emotional IQ to fix the situation.

There's something about MTV VMA's being live that is just so awesome.

Not to mention, Madonna's speech about Michael Jackson made me teary eyed.

The best thing is this headline I saw:

"Kanye West interruptions reach epidemic levels"

Thanks for the lol MTV.

Weddings and Instant Gratification

2009-09-14T16:41:00.003+08:00

Weddings are pretty awesome. If they’re your close friends or family. Sometimes people I don’t know really well invite me to their weddings. Why? What makes you think I care who you’re marrying? Then I realized they don’t, because they just want the gift and the money.

This is why I almost never go to Chinese weddings. Lots of former coworkers or other people I’ve worked with invite me to their weddings… but I really believe that a wedding should be an intimate thing. A thing where it’s like, “I know you’ll be happy for me because you care about me and want to see me happy with another person.” Half the time I get these wedding invitations from people I don’t even really talk to and people look at me aghast when I say, “Uh yeah, I can’t go.” Weddings are expensive and time consuming, man. I’m not about to give out hundreds of dollars to people who I probably really don’t care about, or will remember in 5 years.

Meh.

Okay so I’ve been finally watching Prison Break. This is because on the plane flight back, the entire season was an option so I watched the first 2 episodes. The reason why I didn’t want to watch it before was because I didn’t think there were many hot guys on it. I thought Wentworth Miller was hot… but was he hot enough for me to watch an entire series? I had my doubt so I never bought the series. However.

On the plane, I was completely SMITTEN by him!! Ok you know what it is? It’s his eyes. They brood. And his eyes are green. My entire life I’ve had a thing for guys with green eyes. My first love huge crush when I was 5 had green eyes. Joshua. Then my middle school crush (another Josh) also had green eyes. Then my high school crush also had green eyes (Brian). Most of my TV celeb crushes also have green eyes. I just have a THING for green eyes.

So I bought the entire 4 seasons of Prison Break and I feel like I’m in a prison watching Prison Break, because I cannot move until I finished the entire series. I’m on Season 3. There is just something about the way Wentworth Miller broods that drives me insane. Woo hoo! Another mini project to do. Watch Prison Break and google every piece of information on it until I’m bored.

I love instant gratification.

Everything I want, I must have it now. That’s because I have a plan and my plan needs to move forward. Everything is a little cog in my overall plan that I need to make sure moves in my preferred direction. Being a control freak ain’t so bad…. You could be messy and disorganized, directionless and lost…… no thanks.

I hate panda huggers

2009-09-02T11:02:00.001+08:00

So I predict my blog will get a lot more updates now that I have my bb. So let's see. Sitting next to me in a digusting guy with ugly wavy hair, and he has been picking his ear for at least 5 minutes. He is flicking the earwax out of his nails. However, after he flicks it out he also wipes his fingernails in this dirty napkin full of earwax. Sick.

Have you ever wondered how people can be this disgusting and apparently not care about it? Or not know about it? I think its all a pretence. They are just too lazy to change their habits because it is convenient to them. Like they care for anyone else. As long as its convenient to them they'll keep doing it their way. Which is the problem of this society of course.

Lots of people told me that they're growing! Look how far they've come! My question to that is.... So? That is no excuse for people to have zero consideration for anyone else and only pursue things that benefit themselves only, and often at the cost of another person, such as ripping someone off 2 months deposit, or selling them fake baby's formula to make more profit, etc. There are some people that have grown up in horrible surroundings but know that its wrong not to kill, rape, or rob others. What is the difference between these and others? I don't think most of these people grew up in prisons.

Anyway, its just an excuse to divert you away from the real issue: that these people, and this society is fcked. That the mentality of the masses is broken. How they grew up doesn't matter to what is seen in the present because dwelling on the how does not fix anything now.

Total eclipse of the heart

2009-08-27T15:29:00.002+08:00

This really goes on in my mind when I hear this song. No joke.

I love the intarwebs

2009-08-27T15:27:00.000+08:00

Girlfriend Woes

2009-08-27T15:23:00.001+08:00

Hilarious.

Ganking is FUN

2009-08-27T10:48:00.002+08:00

Okay so I had an adventure recently. I was playing on my friends WoW servers because they had told me that they were heavy PVPers (player versus player). My current guild on my server doesn’t PVP very much… so all the time I’m asking them, “HELLO!! Can anyone come to the battlegrounds with me so we can PWN SOME N00BS PLZ?!?!” And they’re always like, “No, because we always die, and that’s no fun.” And then I say, “But you get stronger! You get more points! Then you can buy STRONGER GEAR. Then after a few weeks you can PWN N00BS TOO!!” And they’re like, “Nah… we’d rather stay here and kill artificially intelligent monsters.”

It drives me crazy. How can just killing NPCs (non playable characters) be fun!? It’s about the contest! The competition!! The excitement when you’re standing there and all of a sudden you see a warrior behind you about to attack!!! It’s surviving a pre-emptive attack and then killing the enemy that gives you RETURN ON INVESTMENT!! Not to mention tons of satisfaction.

So I went to my friends server and wow, do they have good gear. And wow, are they good at owning people. Two mages, one rogue, starting up shit in the game. For three hours, we scoured the terrain, looking for any victim we could find. Finally, we found a hunter. He was just there, killing monsters by his own little happy self, with his pet Boar. We swooped down on our dragons and waved to him. My rogue friend stealthed and vanished into thin air. The hunter got nervous. Then we attacked him. Scared, he sent his Boar on us which I froze in place with my ice magic. My friend S (the other mage) killed the Boar with fireballs. The hunter turned and ran. My rogue friend popped out and stabbed him in the back which caused him to become dizzy. Then he unleashed a combo of attacks that fell the hunter. He died. We pointed at his corpse. We laughed. Next.

On and on, we killed and killed. We circled the horizons looking for any moving object, any fighting. We found our next victim. A player named “Dreamy Sister.” Let’s just assume it was a girl. Girls are usually easier to kill. They’re less skilled than guys at the game for the most part, and many girls don’t like to PVP. There is only one other girl I know in the game that regularly goes on killing missions with me. I really wish more girls practiced PVP so we can create a girls group and go kick some ass. Alas, it is but just a far away dream. Anyway, back to my story.

So we see Dreamy Sister. She’s just sitting there, next to the ice lake, drinking and eating some food. My rogue friend stealths. I wave. My other mage friend laughs at her. She stands up. My rogue friend pops out behind her, kills her. It was too easy. We retreat and hide behind some trees. While we weren’t looking, Dreamy Sister gets back to her body and resurrects. She immediately mounts on her gryphon and flies up into the air so we can’t attack. We look up at her…. Ai… target lost. My mage friend S says, “Not so fast!” He mounts up and within 5 seconds is flying next to her. He waves at her. She spits on him. He casts a fire spell which engulfs her in flames and her gryphon disappears. Without her mount, she falls, on fire, to her death. She dies. We point at her. We laugh.

Dreamy Sister attempts to escape from us 3 more times, and all 3 times meets the sad, fiery fall to her death. We get bored with her and move on, letting her rest.

The hunter is back. Still killing yetis. This time he called his Rogue friend to protect him. Oh! A challenge. We are pleased. We circle above them, letting them know we’ve arrived. He makes a rude gesture. We taunt him and tell him to bring it on. He ignores us and goes back to killing his yetis. Meanwhile, his rogue friend disappeared. The other mage and I stay in the air. Obviously, his rogue friend is stealthed, waiting for us to land so he can stun us from behind and kill us. We’re not that stupid. We let our Rogue friend start the show.

He stealths behind the hunter, and stuns him with one attack. The hunter spins around slowly, unable to move. The enemy rogue sees this, pops out behind our rogue friend F, and tries to attack. The mages land. We freeze him in place and throw fireballs. He dies. Meanwhile, the hunter is still dizzy. We point and laugh at him. Then we kill him. We weren’t trying to kill the hunter first. We wanted the rogue. And he fell for our predictable trap.

After 3 hours, we have no one to kill. The players have warned each other about 3 horde killing all the alliance in sight, so people are avoiding this area. Sad. We log and we see on the bulletin boards, people complaining about being farmed and telling us to stop killing them. We lol. Goal achieved. Now we can all sleep peacefully.